Thank Heavens for Harper

I mean, this guy has been a godsend to Canadian left-wingers everywhere. Initially, I was disappointed when the dumbasses in the Alliance and the Progressive Conservatives finally figured out that their just weren't enough right-wingers in Canada to go around. But Harper has been a dream come true.

Let's look at this realistically. When Martin becomes PM last year, he has something like a 45-50% approval rating. Then, Harper is handed an absolute whopper of a scandal. The Liberals drop 10% in the polls before anyone even knows what's going on. But during the election:

• Harper makes it public he thinks he will get a majority and publicizes he's talking to our favourite PM of all time, Brian Mulroney, in the middle of an election campaign no less. Brilliant!
• Harper's candidates make a number of idiot announcements that show everyone just what kind of reactionary zealots they'll be getting if they vote Conservative. One announces that Cons. will use the notwithstanding clause (which is oh-so-popular in English Canada) lots so they can ignore the courts. The weekend before the election. Jeez. Hello in there!
• Klein picks that moment to announce he will do an end run around Medicare, and Harper, who has publically announced he will do more or less the same as PM can only watch. Has no one told him that most Canadians aren't interested in private health insurance?

So Harper loses. And obviously he has underperformed, because the %tage of those voting for Conservatives is less than the combined %tage of those voting Aliance or PC in 2000. Most of the old PC'ers went Liberal, helped along by Joe Clark announcing Harper is dangerous.

But let it pass. In 2005, Harper again gets a golden opportunity to take down Martin, gift wrapped and with a big "Gomery" tag on the package. What does he do?

1. In February, Harper decides he won't defeat the government over the budget. "There's nothing in this budget that would warrant an election at this time," he says.
2. As Gomery gains steam, Harper decides that his party "cannot support their programs" afterall. Then he joins up with the Bloc in a Parliamentary tag team.
3. With the Tories ahead in the polls Harper can't quite get the Libs to accept what he calls a non-confidence vote. So now, he comes off as petulant, yappy little dog barking after his Master has left him out on the front porch. Constitutional experts agree with Martin. Allied with the Bloc, Harper shuts down the House.
4. On the eve of a crucial budget vote, Harper goes Alpha male on Stronach, apparently figuring she'll just meekly take it. Instead, Stronach jumps to the Liberals, changing the balance of power in the House in a close vote. Conservatives fail to defeat the government.
5. By June, the Conservative lead in the polls has evaporated. On June 23, the Liberals force through a motion extending parliament and passing the last of their budget legislation. Where are the Conservatives during this? Drinking, heading home for the weekend, that sort of thing. Who cares if it's a dirty trick? If the Cons were awake, they'd of caught it. These yahoos want to run the country?
6. The day before a vote on SSM Harper can't win, he tells Quebeccers that their votes are illegitimate. That's the same Bloc he was working with on the budget the week before. I gather he no longer sees much hope for seats in Quebec.

I love it! If the Cons EVER had any chance at forming a government, this was the time. But under Harper's leadership (and the strategy of the Calgary backroom boys) they have systematically tanked every opportunity by a combination of stupidity, Parliamentary incompetance and an inability to see that social conservatism doesn't fly in Canada. He hasn't won a battle, and now, according to Chantal Hebert he just looks like a bigot.

I hope he stays leader for ever and ever and ever!